The Tunnel in Mashtots Park (On Fear)

I met Marianna During my second or third year in Armenia. She was a student studying Armenian filmmakers, and as a result spent extended periods of time in Yerevan for her research. We became quick friends, in small part due to her pleasantness, intelligence, kind heart, and quirkiness.

During her second visit, she moved across the street from me, making us neighbors as well, and upon her departure, creating a vacuum.

One night during that visit a few friends had gathered in my apartment looking for something to do. Tired of cafes and bars, our options seemed limited. Given the late hour and subsequent darkness I suggested we take a walk through the tunnel.

The tunnel in question runs from Mashtots Park to Dzorapi Street near the edge of the Hrazdan Gorge, underneath the hill where the neighborhood of Kond begins. The entrance is at the end of the run down park, beyond the dilapidated fountains and broken stonework, directly underneath the central post office and its adjoining highrise.

And much like any other tunnel, it is filled with graffiti, somewhat imposing, and no matter how wide, claustrophobic.

The others expressed interest in my suggestion, save for Marianna, who did in fact did suffer from claustrophobia, and informed us that simply walking by the tunnel's entrance was enough to trigger her fear.

I am not certain how we convinced her to join, given how opposed she was to the idea and that as we got closer to the entrance, the more visible her worry became; though I believe it was in no small part due to the security of being there with a group of friends.

As we stepped into the mouth of the tunnel I immediately saw the change in her demeanor; shortness of breath, tensing muscles, a quiet nervousness in her voice. She began to take hurried steps to escape as soon as possible. Every time a light went out, which was frequent and unpredictable,  or a strange sound was echoed in the distance, her fists would clench and her body would shake.

There was true fear in her eyes and without us nearby she may have been swallowed by that terror
 
I have the utmost respect for Marianna's strength, though she herself may not recognize it as such. It is that strength that allowed her to will herself beyond a corridor of fear regardless of its known effect. The physical and mental toll it took was exhausting, yet she managed to walk out the other side.
 
For myself, that night serves as a reminder on the need to push beyond the limits of one's fears, if for no other reason than to prove that they can be overcome.