Sloshed, Smashed and Soused - Part 2: The Sound of Laughter Descending

And then we were in a cab and off to another bar. Along the way the cab driver pointed to a Lucky Dog Hot dog stand, its operator leaning against the wall, his hands behind his head. “On your right,” the driver said “you will see one of New Orleans’ homeless giving a blow job for a hotdog.”

Now at the new bar, we continued to drink, and at some point I collapsed in front of the bathroom, single occupant variety, with a door that opened outwardly. I failed to register that someone was trying to leave, moaning loudly something along the lines of "I'm not fucking moving!" before my friends lifted me up and put me on a chair.

In front of me was my brother and a plate of fries and chicken strips. I drunkenly asked him how it felt to be married. My brother looked me in the eyes, with all the seriousness in the world and said "It's fucking great," just before his face fell into the plate of snacks.

At this point I was getting a second wind, which my friend Patty utilized to get me back to my hotel room to collect her things, having left them there earlier in the day as she had checked out of her own room and had a late/early flight. So we headed back down Bourbon street, and I, like an idiot, began swinging from iron pole to iron pole like an orangutan, eventually slipping on lord knows what and sliding into the legs of three very large, very angry gentlemen.

I am certain if it was not for Pattys intervention, I would have had my ass kicked thoroughly. But her pleas were received and they took sympathy on my stupidity, allowing me to leave unscathed. We arrived at the hotel room and she gathered her things, then we made our way back to the elevator. She stepped in, I stayed out, waving bye as the doors began to close.

What I had forgotten, or ignored, was that my belt had come undone from my collision, and that the hand I was using to wave with was also the hand holding up my pants. So as I waved, the doors closed, my pants dropped, exposing my underwear, followed by laughter descending from beyond the metal doors.

I shuffled back to my room, pants around my legs, ready to collapse into a drunken deep sleep.