A Two-Fold Cautionary Tale (On Legacy)

My mother was a teenager when she witnessed her cousin Hagop drown on a beach on the coast of Lebanon. Having learned recently how to swim, he was excited to continue his practice, and picked up my mother and her sister on his way to the beach.

Once out in the water he was caught in an undertow and unfamiliar with how to react, disappeared in the water, only to be spotted a short while later, his head bobbing up and down with the waves. People rushed to pull him out, but it was too late.

The memory of that moment would haunt my mother for a long time.

Hagop was in his early-twenties when he died; his life too short, his death a cautionary tale for the children in our family.

For most of my life the only thing I knew about this man was how he died. His story, the memory of him attached to that sad day; mention prior to swimming in the ocean, or on days of sad reflection, or briefly as an afterthought.

Then one day as an adult was I told another story about Hagop; a new, different kind of cautionary tale.

Prior to his death Hagop had been sleeping with a married woman. Her husband was known as an incredibly stupid man, and rumored to be impotent as well. The mental and physical deficiencies of her husband had provided a clear justification for their attraction and action.

By his own admission Hagop had been careful, utilizing protection whilst engaging in intercourse. Given this, it is not difficult to imagine the shock and confusion he must have felt when he learned that this woman was now pregnant with his child and adamant in her desire to keep it.

It seems that this woman, in her desire to have a child, had taken the condoms which he had left behind, and punctured them by running the packets under a sowing machine, rendering them ineffective, and in turn providing warning for those in our family ready to pursue sexual activity.

Hagop had a short life but his son lived on, and so does his memory; the two absent from each other, yet together creating the legacy of this man.